I'm here to make a confession: I'm not interested in music. So very sorry.
I don't care about what bands are cool and what bands are not cool. I don't care if pop music is lame and indie music is best. I can't name one up-and-coming band. I don't care about guitar riffs or drum beats. I don't care about lyrics, especially if I can't understand them, and I don't care about what people think about them. I'm just not into it.
I can honestly say that I've never listened to any music posts from my neighbors for the nearly two years I've been on Vox. But I can say that I've read nearly every post that hasn't been about music…if that makes anyone feel better.
I am now brave enough to say that when someone says, "you gotta hear this song! It's so awesome," my immediate thought is, how can I get out of this? Because I know they will be disappointed (and/or think I'm heartless/a crazy person) when I shrug at the end and say, "yeah, it was fine."
Music for me is background noise. It's what I listen to in the car while I'm driving. It's what I listen to if I'm surfing the Internet. It's what plays in the elevator and it's apparently in the background of movies, although I rarely notice it.
I can't remember a time where I've voluntarily chosen to sit down and listen to a song without doing anything else.
And I've come to a few conclusions on why this is:
- As I mentioned in my Cori's Grand Theory About Talking On The Phone post a long time ago, I am a visual person. Music is auditory. We are not compatible. I would not be matched to music on eHarmony. I just don't process auditory information like so many of you can. My mind wanders. Something sparkly catches my eye. And within a few seconds of listening to a song, I'm on a completely different planet. My auditory attention span is about on par with a goldfish.
- I have to admit it — music does not speak to me on a deeper level. Songs don't move me. Music doesn't really affect my mood. I don't listen to sad songs after a break-up. I don't think a song has ever moved me to tears*. If something good has happened I might crank up the music in my car and sing really loud…but it's more the need to shout and be happy than it is my appreciation for the music as music. I still listen to songs that I enjoyed with my ex. There's no emotional connection to the music. In fact, my iPod is always set to shuffle. If a song comes on that I don't want to listen to, I'll skip it. But I don't have certain music that connects to certain aspects of my life.
- I find a lot of music, especially slow music, boring.
- I can't sing (no, really) and I can't play any instruments (other than a small amount of piano from when I was younger). I can no longer read music. I don't have the ability to pick out certain instruments in songs (except, perhaps, for the drums). Because of this, I don't have the ability to appreciate music on the musicality level that musicians can. I'm not saying you have to be a musician to appreciate music, but it sure does help.
Granted, there is a lot of music that I enjoy (I have 5000 songs on my iPod for goodness sake), in a lot of genres. But if any of it was to disappear off the planet, I don't think I'd take the time to be sad. Maybe for a bit. If music disappeared entirely, it would definitely affect me, but not like it would those people who say they couldn't live without music.
I was talking to Pondy about this, and she came up with a good analogy using her disinterest in books (something I am highly interested in and emotionally affected by): "I don't care about books. I don't care about plot development or characters evolving and their stories being reconciled. I either like it or I don't. And if I do like it, it's usually for the overall entertainment value than for the style of writing or anything like that."
So, I guess it's all about the entertainment value for me.
This is very hard to admit, since my brother and so many of my friends are extremely musical and talented. Many of my friends care deeply about music and lyrics and all that jazz. And because I love them, I'll listen and try to form opinions, but it is very very hard. Because if I didn't love them…I probably wouldn't care. But just know that it's not you. It's me.
What do you all think?
* Note: there is one exception to this general rule. I do care about the music at church. If there was no music there, I'd be upset. Music there has moved me to tears. But I like to think that it's more than the music itself. It's about the worship more than it is about the musicality. As much as I wish it weren't this way, the better the worship music, the more easily I can worship.