Let's eat Grandpa!

Me and food are always at odds. I mean, I love food (especially the “eating it” part), but I fail at it in many ways.

1. I am never home. In the evenings I do karate, attend church, hang out with the boyfriend, ride my bike, go out with friends or family, go to book club, run errands, etc. On average, I only have one or two nights with enough time to cook dinner, and usually I’m a big sweaty mess and the last thing I want to do is stand near an oven.
2. Cooking for one sucks. Yes, the boyfriend and I eat together twice a week or so (sometimes we cook, sometimes we go out), but for the most part, I’m on my own for meals if I’m not going out with friends. And I fall victim to the oft-lamented I-don’t-want-to-eat-this-damn-lasagna-for-a-week problem.
3. Leftovers aren’t my favorite. I like my food fresh. Almost nothing is as good on the second day as it is on the first (my mom’s spaghetti being a notable exception), and nothing is as good on the third day as the second. That poor lasagna is less appetizing every day it sits in my fridge.
4. I don’t particularly like to cook. I find it stressful. I can never time things correctly. For instance, I made myself a veggie burger the other night, and 20 minutes later I had some sweet potato fries. A while back, I wanted to chop a butternut squash and about threw it out the window when I found it nearly impossible to chop.
5. I love when other people cook. Friends, family, chefs, a dude at the fryer…of someone else is cooking, I’d rather be there than in my own kitchen. Generally, other people cook way better than I do.
6. I prefer convenience over artistry. Yes, I could make baked ziti with summer veggies. Or I could have a bowl of Special K.
7. I’m accident prone. I’ve tried to cook something and ended up in the hospital for stitches.
8. Recipes never look like the picture. I know it is all photographic tricks, but just one time could something I make turn out vaguely like the photo? I made a sauce for some pasta a while back and it was absolutely the most unappetizing brown color. Ever.
9. Meat scares me. I generally don’t cook meat. That is, unless the recipe calls for it to be “tough as leather” or that it “may contain salmonella” or it “could be used as a hockey puck.” I don’t know how to buy certain cuts of meat. And my own personal preference is never to eat meat off the bone (shudder). Mostly I’m a vegetarian. Luckily, so is the boyfriend.
10. Breakfast is too early. Eggs at 6:30? Barf. I’ll have a Clif Bar at 10:00, thank you.
11. I have more important things to do on my lunch break. When you work full time, you need that precious hour to go to the bank/library/Target/etc. No time to eat! Stuff a pre-made salad in your face!
12. Food can be expensive. At least it is for one person. I need one egg for a recipe. Either I buy six and pay more per egg and throw away four or five when I forget them in the fridge, or buy twelve and pay less per egg (but more overall) and throw away ten or eleven. And when a recipe calls for twenty ingredients, all of which only require 1/8 of the total purchased, that’s money down the drain when I can’t figure out how to use the rest of the ingredients.
13. I waste food. See #11. My schedule changes so often that I could have the best of intentions to eat all the eggs, but then I get invited to dinner at other people’s houses and those eggs go uneaten.
14. I hate doing the dishes. My mother still tells stories about how I would trade any and all other chores at Girl Scout Camp in order NOT to have to do the dishes. And I’m not one of those people who is good about cleaning as I go, so my kitchen looks like Chernobyl after I’m done with it.
15. Food makes me sick. I have a very iffy stomach, especially when it comes to dinner. Sometimes it likes things. Sometimes it does not. I’ve always been this way. The porcelain throne and I are buddies.
16. Hey! There’s an In ‘n’ Out on my street! Nuff said.

So where does this leave me? I end up snacking a lot, eating a ton of cold cereal, oatmeal, and prepackaged salads, and throwing away a lot of food. The food I do eat—like when I go out or eat with friends—is generally pretty healthy (I’m a veggie nut), and I don’t really struggle with my weight (being active surely helps). I’ll cook a meal here or there, but day to day, I make the easy choices instead of the smart good-for-the-environment choices.

I’d like to make some significant changes to my diet. I’d like to eat a healthy breakfast. I want to eat more local food. I don’t want to eat so many hormones and processed foods. I’d like to know how to cook meat properly. I’d like to grow some things to eat. I’d like to know the seasons in which things grow. I’d love to drop my Diet Pepsi habit. I’d like to support small farms instead of GMOs. I’d like to enjoy my beautiful kitchen.

But I have no idea where to start. It all seems so overwhelming. I don’t know how people who love to cook do it.

Any suggestions?

Off to make that baked ziti and summer veggies. It requires one egg. Not sure what I’ll do with the leftover eggs…